This story is an 'alleged' transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian maritime contact off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The tale, in various versions and featuring different nationalities, has circulated widely in emails and books for many years. It has been used by numerous speakers and writers to illustrate lessons relating to listening, negotiating, making assumptions and related themes.
Americans: "Please divert your course 15 degrees North to avoid a collision."
Canadians: "Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees South to avoid collision."
Americans: "This is the captain of a US navy ship; I say again divert your course."
Canadians: "No. I say again, recommend you divert YOUR course."
Americans: "THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP."
Canadians: "We are a lighthouse... your call."
author unknown
(This is a great story, but unfortunately not a true one)
Listen – a prose poem with a strong message
When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice, you have not done what I have asked.
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin telling me why I shouldn’t feel the way I feel, you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problems, you have failed me, as strange as that may seem.
Listen!
All I asked was that you listen. Not Talk. Or do.
Just hear me. Advice is cheap: 45 pence will get me both Dear Abby and editorials in the same newspaper.
And I can “do” for myself – I’m not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can (and need to) do for myself, you contribute to my fear and inadequacy.
But when you accept, as a simple fact, that I do feel what I feel no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you and can get about the business of understanding what’s behind this feeling.
And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious, and I don’t need advice. Thoughts and feelings make sense when we understand what’s behind them.
So please, listen. And give me the most precious gift you have to give!
author unknown
