The New Job
At a time when the economy was not in the greatest shape, a man in Bristol was laid off. He needed to find work quickly because he had a wife and children to support. One day while reading the local newspaper, he noticed that there was an opening at the Bristol Zoo. He immediately called and informed the human resources department that he was an accountant and would be happy to work for them. The human resources director told him that they didn't need an accountant. What they needed was a gorilla. Yes, you read that right—a gorilla.
The director explained that the real gorilla had died and they needed someone to dress up and be their gorilla while they were waiting for the real gorilla (the new one) to arrive. The accountant laughed and said, "You've got to be kidding. I'm not going to do anything as crazy as that." To which the human resources person replied, "Well, it pays £200 per day. Take it or leave it." The accountant began to think that no one would know it was him, so he decided to take the job just until the real gorilla arrived.
It took three people to get him in the gorilla suit, but eventually there he was, crouching in the gorilla's cage and feeling totally humiliated. Then, when some children and their parents arrived, he
decided he should start acting like a gorilla. Before long, a crowd had gathered, and they all had their cameras out and were taking pictures. He decided that if he could swing from a vine hanging in the cage, he would really give the crowd a thrill. But just as he was about to try the stunt, he slipped from the vine and fell into the cage next to his. It was the lion's den!
He grabbed the bars of the lion's den and started shouting madly, "I'm a man! I'm a man! I'm not a gorilla!" He was shouting louder and louder as the lion crept closer and closer to him.
He was sure he was just about to take his last breath when he heard the lion say, "Shut up you fool, or you'll get us both fired!"
Moral: You can get fired from your job. You can even get fired from being a husband, wife, sister or brother. But you can't get fired from being you!
The Barnyard Breakfast
The chicken and the pig agree to co-host a barnyard breakfast. The chicken suggests that they serve bacon and eggs. The pig replies, "For you that means involvement. For me it's total commitment."
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