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Tip 23 - A quick and simple way to manage emotions
These days, in the midst of the credit crunch, downturn and recession, stress abounds.
All around us people seem to spend more time on the verge of some emotional explosion. One little thing can trigger an enormous response.
How do you stay on an even keel in the face of all this, and respond appropriately without being overwhelmed, intimidated or hijacked by your emotions?
Being able to manage your emotions is one of the key components of emotional intelligence. Regular relaxation to clear your head helps to keep yourself in a good state. Sometimes, however, you need to relax when you're out and about and it's not convenient to take twenty minutes to lie down and relax totally.
Here’s a quick way to relax using peripheral vision that you can use to relax anywhere.
In Carlos Castaneda's books, peripheral vision is one of the techniques used to 'stop the world' - giving your mind space to perceive things as they really are by stilling any mental chatter that gets in the way.
This technique, often taught on NLP Master Practitioner training programmes, lets you choose to be in an altered state – a state of peace and alertness. Martial arts masters use peripheral vision all the time, even as they walk down the street. Since they are aware of everything around them, they are very hard to sneak up on!
Peripheral vision is particularly useful when speaking in public. As well as calming your nerves, you can see the whole audience and are much more aware of any little movements they make - allowing you to gauge how they are reacting. You only need to go into peripheral vision a little way to contact that deep reserve of peace and tranquillity that exists in each one of us.
As with most techniques it requires regular practice, so that you can remain calm in the face of anything during these challenging times. It can seem quite strange at first since most people spend much of their time focused on something using tunnel vision and looking at the detail, eg right now you are reading these words. Even when we talk to someone, we often only look at their eyes or face and ignore the rest of them. This often goes with a kind of inner 'tunnel vision', where we get obsessed or fixated on things, and it could involve worry, adrenaline, rushing around and stressful situations.
To experience peripheral vision follow this exercise. For the first time, you might want to get a friend or someone you trust to read this to you in a calm, slow, soothing voice, pausing between sentences. Please note that very occasionally a person in an extremely anxious state may find that they feel more panicky the first time they try peripheral vision. This is because they interpret any change in how they feel as potentially threatening, even if it is becoming more relaxed. If this begins to happen, stop!
“Look at the wall opposite you and find a point which is straight ahead and a little above eye level . Continue to look at this point in soft focus throughout. Keeping your eyes on that point, begin to broaden your field of vision by noticing more and more of what's either side of that point, so that soon you're paying attention to what you can see out of the corners of your eyes on each side. And you can take your awareness even further around behind you than that - all the way round, 360 degrees. You won’t be seeing behind you, but you can bring in your other senses like your sense of hearing or spatial awareness to be aware of what's behind you as well.
As you stay in peripheral vision, you may notice that your breathing has moved lower down in your chest and may be slowed down or become deeper, that the muscles of your face have relaxed. Usually the most to relax are your jaw muscles – sometimes it could be other muscles that relax more, and you can help those along to relax even more; and it's probably too soon for this to have happened just yet, but if you were to stay in peripheral vision for any length of time, you might find your hands begin to get warmer or even your feet. But it's probably a bit soon for that to have happened just yet. You may also notice other parts of your body are relaxing or your breathing getting deeper and you could feel more open and flowing.
You may choose to stay in peripheral vision for as long as is appropriate and when
the time is right for you, let your field of vision return to normal and then go
about your business with that renewed sense of tranquillity.”
The interesting thing is that when you go into peripheral vision you seem to activate the parasympathetic nervous system - the part of your nervous system that calms and slows you down and lets your mind, body and emotions come back into balance.
A coach can help you with this process and in many other ways.
Click here to arrange an introductory session to find out more.
