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Tip 24 - Successful negotiations with Win-Win methods
Do you feel that someone is continually taking advantage of you? Do you seem to have to fight your corner aggressively, or ally with others, to win the resources you need? Or do you struggle to get what you want from people whose help you need, but over whom you have little direct authority? If so, you may need to brush up your win-win negotiation skills.
Effective negotiation helps you to resolve situations where what you want conflicts with what someone else wants. The aim of win-win negotiation is to find a solution that is acceptable to both parties, and leaves both parties feeling that they've won, in some way, after the event.
Going for a Win-Win can be creatively challenging, especially if you start with conflicting objectives or outcomes. Or almost impossible is either party doesn’t know what they want.
Here’s what’s needed to create an effective win-win scenario. Both parties:
- know what they want.
- are prepared to be open about needs and what’s important to them and are committed to investing the time needed to explore and clarify them.
- openly indicate that they are prepared to walk away rather that accept anything other than a win-win agreement.
- are prepared to explore the reasons they need what they want; and whether there are alternative ways in which they can get them.
- focus on their interests, what’s behind them and how to achieve them, eg ‘I want a 20% discount to meet my year target’ rather than ask for a 20% discount without explaining why.
- fully explore one proposal before making a counter proposal.
- stick to facts rather than exaggerate.
- are open about how they feel about the situation.
- summarise and clarify what has been jointly agreed throughout the interaction, leaving the final bargaining and ‘street trading’ until a workable agreement is on the table.
Remember that ‘Think Win-Win’ is habit number four of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Summarising Covey’s thoughts here: Thinking Win-Win isn't about being nice, nor is it a quick-fix technique. Win-Win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-Win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions.
A person or organisation that approaches conflicts with a win-win attitude possesses three vital character traits:
- Integrity: sticking with your true feelings, values and commitments
- Maturity: expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for the ideas and feelings of others
- Abundance Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyone
For minor disagreements it’s usually not necessary and can be counterproductive to prepare too much: it wastes time and can be seen to give an advantage, rather than you both being on a level playing field. However, if you need to resolve a major disagreement, then make sure you prepare thoroughly. Here are the major points to think through before you start negotiating:
- Goals: What do you want to get out of the negotiation? What do you think the other person wants?
- Trades: What do you and the other person have that you can trade? What do you each have that the other wants? What are you each comfortable giving away?
- Alternatives: If you don’t reach agreement with the other person, what alternatives do you have? Are these good or bad? How much does it matter if you do not reach agreement? Does failure to reach an agreement cut you out of future opportunities? And what alternatives might the other person have?
- Relationships: What is the history of the relationship? Could or should this history impact the negotiation? Will there be any hidden issues that may influence the negotiation? How will you handle these?
- Expected outcomes: What outcome will people be expecting from this negotiation? What has the outcome been in the past, and what precedents have been set?
- The consequences: What are the consequences for you of winning or losing this negotiation? What are the consequences for the other person?
- Power: Who has what power in the relationship? Who controls resources? Who stands to lose the most if agreement isn’t reached? What power does the other person have to deliver what you hope for?
- Possible solutions: Based on all of the considerations, what possible compromises might there be?
Many people think in terms of either/or: either you're nice or you're tough. Win-win requires that you be both. It is a balancing act between courage and consideration. To go for win-win you not only have to be empathic, but you also have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, you also have to be brave. To do that - to achieve that balance between courage and consideration - is the essence of real maturity and fundamental to win-win outcomes.
A coach can help you ‘bed in’ this practice. Click here to arrange an introductory session to find out more.
