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Tip 26 – Appreciation leads to a better way to change
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The usual approach to creating change is to look for what isn't working and change it. For example, if my car breaks down and I call someone out to look at it, I expect them to find what's wrong and fix it so that I can get on my way as soon as possible. Similarly, when an organisation seeks to create change it most often does so by deciding how it would like things to be and then deciding what has to be changed to get there. This problem-based approach to improvement has proved hugely successful and has underpinned the scientific revolution, which over the past few centuries has driven the development of the sophisticated, technology based society we live in.
So, when faced with helping people to develop, this problem-based orientation has often been the approach, which works with people, at least in the short term. However, focusing on the problem and what’s not working could be depressing for them because:
- it plays on people's weaknesses as they are being asked to change by getting better at something they are not good at.
- it devalues people by treating them as half empty glasses rather than half full ones and it gives them tacit feedback that they are inadequate rather than able.
There is another approach. Rather than focussing on what's not working and finding ways to make it work, this approach concentrates on finding what is already working and encouraging more of it. This principle is beautifully demonstrated by the story of Elliot Coleman's Gift (see below) and it is also something every parent knows how to do. With babies and young children, we effortlessly use this ‘appreciative’ approach, praising their every attempt to walk, with the emphasis on what they are doing well. Later we may switch to helping them learn by telling them what they could be doing better or what they're doing wrong, as well as what they're doing right. Used with adults, appreciation has much the same effect as it does with children; it builds their confidence, motivates them, encourages them to learn, and helps them find and express their uniqueness. We should do more of it!
Elliot Coleman's Gift
from The Storytelling Coach by Doug Lipman Visit his web site
When I was a student at John Hopkin's University, I wanted to join a poetry writing course taught by Professor Elliot Coleman. To be accepted into the course, first I had to show Coleman a sample of my poetry. Fearing criticism, I procrastinated. When at last I braved an appointment with him and let him read my poems, I was astonished at his response: he told me what he liked about them. I left his office buoyed and inspired. That very week I wrote a poem that broke new ground for me.
When my poems were discussed in class, I often felt that Coleman understood my purposes better than I did. I always left class inspired and able to improve what I had written.
One week, I lingered in Professor Coleman's classroom after the class session had ended. All had left the room except two other students, on whom I was eavesdropping. One of the students was attacking a poem that the other had written. At bay, the author of the poem defended himself: "Well, Elliot Coleman likes this poem!! The other, arching in for the kill, hissed, "So? Elliot Coleman likes everything!"
In that moment I understood two things. Of course, I understood what the attacker meant: if I like everything equally, my judgement is meaningless. But I also understood what the attacker did not. Elliot Coleman did not praise indiscriminately. On the contrary, his great gift was his ability to find what there was to like in every poem he read.
Did you know: Appreciation in encounters can make or break a business.
The US Department of Labour data analysis reported that “the number one reason people leave their jobs is that they do not feel appreciated. Not low pay, not lack of benefits, but lack of appreciation! Jack Canfield, the well known author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series says, ‘a recent management study revealed that 46% of employees leaving a company do so because they feel unappreciated; 61% said their bosses don’t place much importance on them as people; and 88% said they do not receive acknowledgment for the work they do.’”
A coach can help you with appreciative enquiry methods at work and at home.
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